Gimme Less

Ma Quale Idea-Pino D'Angino

I first heard this song on Royksopp's Back To Mine mix (Great mix...impeccable taste!). I was at the gym and this song came on over my headphones and I was like "Hmmmmmm, where do I know this from?" That, and I laughed. I don't know anything about Pino D'Angino...he doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry, which means even he isn't scribbling his own entry.Yet believe it or not, after Googling him, I found an old album, I Successi/Ma Quale. Judging by the cover, he looks like an Italian playboy who sang eurodisco in the 70's. Oh, this is Euro...no question about that.

Its also unbelievably infectious and fun and an instant party. And where had I heard it before...well, there's a song called "Don't Call Me Baby" by the band Madison Avenue. This is the sample, which was a smart choice on Madison Avenue's part and made Pino some serious cash, as the song went to Number 1 all over the world.

So search it out, turn on your lava lamp, put on some polyester and shag on your shag carpet. Viva la Pino!

I Thought That-The Migrants

If we lived in a country with decent cool radio, like in the 80's and early 90's, you'd have heard this by now. In fact, as I think this went to Number 1 in Australia (today is all about Australia, I just noticed), you'd be sick of it by now. This definitely has an 80's vibe, although it doesn't sound dated. The vocals....very distinctive....the falsetto reminds me of vintage Prince while on the verses the vocals remind me of Gang Of Four. OK, Prince, Gang Of Four...wow, that's a compliment! In any event, its impossible funky, catchy as fuck and in a better world would be an absolutely massive hit. Um, that ain't happenin', as we have to endure the new record from Ms. Department of Children & Family Services, Britney Spears. More about her later.

K...wanna hear this? Go to http://www.beatport.com/. People keep saying that they wish I put links to the tracks on here. Yeah, really...well I haven't mastered that yet. So go to Beatport (another great site is Bleep) and you get a good minute and a half of the track. If you like it, then buy it from Beatport. It might be on ITunes, but support Bleep or Beatport well before you buy from ITunes.

The mixes, which turn it a bit more electro, a bit more house, rock as well (although the UK is loving the Boris Dlugosch mix, which is too loud for me). Ah, but the original....superior.

Love Is Here To Stay-Chungking & 2Hearts-Kylie Minogue

Cher once said that she knew she made it when drag queens started imitating her. Ya know, an imitation as a form of flattery sort of thing. Well, somebody tell Alison Goldfrapp she's made it.

Chungking's track sounds like an "Ooh La La" knockoff if there ever was one. And let me say, "Oh La La" was easily my least favorite track off of Supernature. (For fuck's sake, give this woman a Bond theme...actually, make her the Bond villian). I tread lightly here, she'll kick my ass. The rest of the Chungking record is pretty good....but this is very derivative. To me, here's whats odd. The song sounds EXACTLY like a Goldfrapp track. Yet, its not interesting. Once its over, you forget it. It should register, right, I mean, if the original registers, the copy should too. But alas, its missing that something. The Kissy Sell Out remix doesn't save it from bugging me either (and his mixes usually can). Not one of the mixes could save "Ooh La La" for me either.

Please don't forward this to Alison Goldfrapp. She's a badass.

Kylie, well, kudos for her for revamping her career and recasting herself in the US (she's always been massive elsewhere, 2nd to Madonna in the UK I think). I mean, "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" was brilliant in its simplicity and the Scissor Sisters-produced "I Believe In You" was remarkable glitter pop. And "Slow", well, terribly underappreciated...sublime and written by Emiliana Torrini, who I love.

So this, well, this is the first single off her new record. The first 4 beats....guess what it reminds me of....yup, "Ooh La La" again. In fact, if this was Name That Tune and I heard only the first 4 beats, I'd think it was Goldfrapp and aforementioned song. I thought "Lose Control" was the first single (leaked to the net), which I like considerably more. In any event, its grown on me. I'd describe it this way, imagine if Alison Goldfrapp had lunch with Marilyn Manson. Not an entire dinner...they didn't hang out for the whole evening, nothing that extensive. Just lunch. And she wrote a song. And gave it to Kylie.

Its grown on me. The bad parts: well, it sounds like Goldfrapp and when something sounds so much like another artist, you compare the vocals as well. Well, Kylie isn't the same kind of singer. I mean, she has a lovely enough voice and the right track brings out the interesting qualities in it. But she's not a singer's singer. However, the good parts. Its fun, short, funky and the "woohoo" parts remind me so much of Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People." Which rocks. Yeah, no seriously! It does rock. That and "The Dope Show" and especially "Disposable Teens" rock. But I digress.

In summation, someone call Alison Goldfrapp. She's got some royalties comin'.

Gimme More-Britney Spears (featuring T.I.)

Despite myself, I like it. However (and this is a big however), there is nothing about this that isn't anonymous. All the great things about the track, the hook, the production...are the product of someone else. They certainly are not Britney.

I am not writing this because she is an easy target. She doesn't annoy me as much as a band like Nickelback, an "alternative" band. I'd take her B-sides over the risible Oasis, for example. But I'll say what I thought the first time I saw her. She is not interesting. She has never been interesting. She's not charming, she's not smart. She brings no personality to her songs--there is no distinctive sound you identify with her.

Sure, there's been some songs I liked. Quite a few, actually, most notably "I'm A Slave 4 U" (which was very much about the production values of the Neptunes). I've always thought she should do more tracks like "Slave"....putting her weak kittenish voice up in front of some dirty electro. That seems to work well. Oh, and I totally dug "Toxic".

Still...doesn't she have a record contract somebody else is supposed to have?

Her ex did it right. Justin Timberlake was never very interesting in N' Sync. Well, N Sync wasn't very interesting. On going solo, he did what Britney did...he began working with brilliant collaborators. However, he also began to show a more personal side to himself. And thats where, in my opinion, his long-lasting career was born. He never seems to take himself too seriously. Its his recognition of his limitations that will be his key to his success. He knows who he is and what he does well. That's smart.

But its Madonna. She's partially to blame for this. That's who Britney certainly wants to be. She wants her icon status, her career, her ability to generate controversy on her own terms. Well, it ain't happenin'. Britney isn't smart. She isn't interesting. Yeah yeah, I know...thats the point...in these ironic post-something times, isn't being a celebrity for no discernible reason interesting in its own rite? Yeah, you know how Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" contained not one actual ironic occurrence? That wasn't intentional, it wasn't ironic. Britney isn't playing with celebrity or her image on her own terms. By year 7 of Madonna's ascendancy to power, she'd pocketed some 40 million from Pepsi for daring to kiss a black Jesus in her "Like A Prayer" video. I mean, at that point, what was left? [An aside: unfortunately what was left was childrens books, the cover of Good Housekeeping and a faux English accent as she became a UK Jew--I give her credit, she's 2 lederhosen away from successfully appropriating every culture known to man). Madonna had done it all by then--for God's sake, she stuck a crucifix in her vagina ON STAGE! In Italy! Britney has never done that. Well, not on purpose. Who knows what happens when that Big Gulp kicks in and the meth hits.

And for all the endless pop culture analysis of her, sweet lord, please stop. I've read articles that suggest that maybe she's not so dumb, not so untalented...a dumb-as-a-fox, dumb-as-George Bush kinda thing. Wishful thinking its called, I think. First she was a vapid teenage queen, now she's just a train wreck that is happening slowly enough for the media to catch every moment of her sad demise. Its another Anna Nicole! There's blood in the water. I think people like her because she makes them feel better about herself. My sister-in-law cannot figure out why she is obsessed with the debacle Britney has become. I tell her its just cause she is breast-feeding. It'll pass.

Madonna got on the cover after "Like A Virgin" had been Number 1 for a couple of weeks. Britney attained that status.....before her first record came out--it was pre-ordained that she was going to be "interesting", that she was going to be successful. Guess what, she is successful, at least in monetary terms. Interesting...yeah, nope.

Oh, the track...."Gimme More"...ah, what to say. Its not bad, actually, pretty good, it is catchy. Like I said, its the kinda dirty electro backdrop that works well with her voice. And it could have been sung by approximately 15 million other people. It could be credited to anonymous and be just as good. Hey, that'd be more interesting! Milli Vanilli wasn't interesting as singers until we discovered it wasn't them. Maybe thats what Britney should do.

You know what. Maybe its like our President...they say you get the President you deserve. I mean, in a culture that has devoted more words than the Bible to the loathsome trash that is Paris Hilton (who is actually famous for doing absolutely nothing), Britney Spears must seem like Joni Mitchell. A sure sign that the 4 Horsement of the Apocalyse are upon us. Who knew they'd be vapid blonde anorexics! Ah, the banality of evil. Thank you Hannah Arendt. That's Miss Arendt, if you're nasty.